What in the world am I doing?

So, HI. How are you doing? Good, I hope. I'm doing pretty decent myself. Ok, now I'm just going to jump past the rest of the awkward and straight into....well, I'm not entirely sure what. hmmmmmm..... I have three kids now. I should probably update this page. In all honesty I never thought I'd return to this blog...and the reason why is kinda crazy; I felt like God wanted me to. I have no clue why, maybe He has someone He wants to reach, but I am obeying that leading and typing away again. This time around will be a little different though. I'm a little different, a little older (and hopefully wiser). So this time around I'm not going to be editing nearly as much. What comes out is what is going to be posted - raw, because if I'm going to be following the leading of the Holy Spirit I certainly don't want to edit Him! So here's to the next post (raising my imaginary glass of OJ), and looking forward to where He'll take us. (and hopefully more coherence on my part!)

I blame Myndi for this!

An amazing woman, upon whom I proudly pin 'bestie' status, has stepped up to the plate and it's time for me to do the same. That's right. It's New Years Resolution time. Don't freak out! Breathe with me. *hee hee, whooo. hee hee, whooo* Use that lamaze training. Good? Good. Now somebody slap me cuz I'm beginning to hyperventilate.
...
*5 minutes later...*
Shall we? Ok, let's get this over with.

ONE) I will be more active. Walking the dog, hiking with the family, dancing with my kids. Heck, even walking up and down the stairs a few more times each day.
Notice I didn't say the E word? That's cuz it's evil!

2) I will keep the kitchen sink free of dirty dishes. I admit it; I am not exactly the type-A, OCD, clean-freak kind of housekeeper I very much look up to. (Yes, Jamie, I'm talking about you.) I struggle with keeping up with the dishes and laundry about, um...99% of the time. What? Don't judge me! My fingers just like yarn better than dirty dishes...and my mind is too busy counting stitches to remember the clothes I put in the washer...yesterday. *clears throat while intently examining her slippers* Anyhow...while we're on the subject...

3) I WILL complete each and every crochet project I've started and abandoned. Honestly, this will probably be the hardest one...I've got about 20 blankets and a few hats waiting to be finished. Wait, can I take this one back? No. Emily, you will do this! Eeeeeeeee! *huff, puff, huff, puff* SLAP

Don't we feel better now? Sure, our knees may be shaking and our cheek a little red but it's out there and we can't take it back.

I need to go crochet something now.

Wax On....Wax Off

Wax on...

The wind of autumn blows
some willingly accept the change
changed themselves
Brilliant fire in finite shapes

some resist
torn in time though stubbornly clung
flung down
reviled
damp and dirty

Heaven's lace
beautiful though brief
hold your breath
listen to the whisper

Wax off.

Eye of the Storm

Yeah....I didn't want to title this one "Trapped in the Tornado" but only because I didn't want you to think I meant a weather tornado. Otherwise that is pretty much how I feel these days.

Warning: I am about to vent. Proceed with caution.....or just skip this one if you prefer.

Let's start with the beginning...cuz it's cliche and I want to.

Work. Ugh. That four letter word that can often be about as bad as the 'bad' four letter words. But let me qualify...quantify? Don't know...too late at night to care.

I enjoy my job. I have a wonderful job that allows me to be a SAHM. I do in-home care for an elderly couple. They are a wonderful couple and I truly enjoy being around them. The problem that I am currently having with work is not them or even what I do, it's a person I work with. There are several of us as this couple requires 24 hour care and well, I'm sure you get the picture. The person I am referring to seems to be a very friendly and sweet person, however she also seems to have a problem with asking for hours and then turning around and asking the rest of us to help cover quite a few of those hours. This is a mild inconvenience at first, a bit of a frustration after several such times, and the urge to bury my phone when I see her name pop up after several months of repeated 'schedule-adjustments'.
The clouds arrive.

Next comes a bit of non-communication that leaves me wondering just where my-last-week-with-my-hubby went that swirls those building clouds into a bumpy dark green opressiveness.

Then comes lightning and hail: my son is teething. So pretty that lightning when he wants to snuggle with mommy. Not so pretty is the hail when he screams the second I put him down because I'm drowing under a pile of unwashed laundry and dishes.

And finally comes last night. Like a funnel-cloud screaming down from the dark sky, we fight. A lightning bolt of finance breaks the last thread and it all comes crashing down. But this tornado has a twin and the two combine to sweep in the entire family.

11pm the storm seems to be moving past. We finally get everyone to bed and hope the damage isn't too severe.

Although the sun rises and life goes on it does not seem the world is washed clean; I yet see those same clouds on the horizon and sense the tingle in the air. Feeling as though my leaves are stripped away and some of my branches have been broken I can only pray the next storm might have some rain to settle the dust and soothe my weary heart.

Old Woman trapped in a (somewhat) young body

My husband has begun to call me an old woman and I am beginning to believe him...not because my body is old but because just about everything else about me is. I crochet and knit, collect and decorate my house with antiques, vintage and otherwise second-hand items, even my clothing is bought at thrift stores. Yesterday I went shopping with a friend and we went to an antique store and a second-hand store, where I promptly became way too excited about a bunch of doilies. It was at this point when I realized that my husband was right...I really am an old woman, but I revel in my old-woman-ness.