Thursday, May 03, 2007

To All The Belly Touchers

A certain matter has come to my attention recently due to my new situation that I feel needs addressing. It is the matter of the Pregnant Belly.

Polite society universally recognizes that a person's body is private property and not to be randomly touched, fondled, caressed, or even remarked upon (unless the remark is unquestionably positive and respectful) by strangers or general acquaintances without express permission. However, for some odd reason, this generally understood rule is all too commonly thrown wantonly out the proverbial window when it comes to pregnant women.

As a woman who is decidedly pregnant (28 weeks and counting), I find this quite disturbing!

I fully understand that many people are enchanted by the miracle going on inside a pregnant woman (and yes, it is truly a miracle), however I do not feel that this enchantment entitles the enchanted to touch other people without permission. Frankly, it is quite rude!

Regardless of whether or not a miracle is happening inside a person, that person's body is still VERY much private property. Is is really too much to ask for the general public to ask permission before touching? And to not be offended if the pregnant woman declines being touched?

Believe me when I say that you will never offend a pregnant woman by being respectful of her body and personal space.

And for those of you who choose to persist in believing that a pregnant woman's body is public property, ask yourselves these two questions:

1. Would it upset me if random (and possibly creepy) people caressed my belly?

2. Am I willing to be physically mauled for touching an extremely hormonal woman's body?

If you happened to answer "yes" to the second question, don't be surprised if I pull out a baseball bat and proceed to beat you with it when you try to touch me without permission. (after all, I already warned you about the hormones)


Charlie Blockhead said...

It's like you are some kinda spiritual buddha walking around amoung us common folk. People think it's good luck or something. If I were you I wouldn't hang out in front of too many Chinese restaurants. They may rub all the skin off.
Thanks for the link, I'll return the favor!!

Charlie Blockhead said...

It's like you're some kinda buddha walking around on Earth amoung the rest of us "normal" people. If I were you I wouldn't hang out in front of any Chinese restaurants. You might come out of there with a raw spot from everyone rubbing it like a DJ on a mixing board.